The Clan Update

• Parents have lost the extended family- so often in our culture now we don't rely on aunts, uncles, grandparents to help us raise our children. Back in the day grandparents lived with the family- they were truly an asset to the parental team
• Parents have to consciencously and intentionally create relationships with their children- "If you are there, show you care"- Be engaged in their lives
• Youth need three significant trusted adult relationship sources (STARS) in their lives
• Need to focus on youth's strengths, rather than weaknesses
• We need to teach our children to intentionally seak out stars and Be a star in some child's life (other than your own children)
• Invite the opinions of youth and respect that opinion
• Reconnect the networks- our role is to create these relationships
• heart to heart, honest relationships, change lives
• We need to chanel positive energy and be positive mentors

Power of Repetition:

• "You are amazing, values and loved" Youth do not hear positive comments about them enough
• 75% of media coverage on youth is negative- what does that do to our youth's self image?
• Youth are starved for "STARS" in their lives
• Don't project onto youth who you think they are (ie: standing in an airport line and a youth with a leather jacket, piercings and a hawk is in front of you, you try your best to avoid him, he sees that you are struggling with your suitcase and he helps you- you just experienced a random act of kindness from someone you thought was bad)
• Youth have to percieved as resources in our communities- not as the problem
• Create a pryadim shift (help change the negative view on our youth)
• Edify the positive things youth are doing and those who help you
• Put passion into what you are doing
• Something as simple as singing Happy Birthday is done with passion or pizass can really speak volumes to a youth as far as their importance in your life

Leading with Assets: Goals

• Putting leadership into action
• Identifyng assets and stengths
• Creating postive energy and change
• Having fun
• Getting it done

Definition of Leadership

• Leadership is not power over others, it is power in relationship with others
• "I can live off a good compliment for a month"- Mark Twain
• Book: "Good to Great" by: Jim Collins
• Deflect attention and credit to your team- edify and praise
• Book: "Soar with your strengths"
• Questions:
• 1) When you approach the school, does it feel like a caring and nurturing envirionment?
• 2) Ist there more than 1 adult you have a relationship with?
• 3) DO you go our of your way to create reltionships with different social groups?

Dr. Wooding: Parenting Crisis (Contraversal Topic)

Causes

Teen Violence:

• Teen violence is on an all time high
• More female violence (15 year old stabbed by two 18 year olds, last week in Toronto at 3AM. What was the modivation and why were they out at that our anyway?)
• Bullying (Columbine)
• Kids are naturally more angry than ever before

Substance Abuse:

• Why do children feel the need to self medicate
• Smoking has gone up by 30 % in youth in the last 5 years

Depression (12% of youth have thought about suicide)

Obesity:

• Linked to depression
• Fatty Foods release ceritonin which is an addicting natural enzyme, it also breaks down the happy chemical that is releases in your body whenever you exercise or experience extreme happiness (I can't remember the name- not endorphins, but the other one)

Society's Value Shift

Placing higher value on work over parenting:

• We are now having to work 2-4 jobs to support a household
• Parents don't have the time or energy to raise their children
• Many parents don't know their child's friends, teachers, ect.
• When Alberta went through their economic crisis 10 years ago, they started laying of people- to combat that people started working harder to prve their value to the company, putting in extra hours whenever they could. Now it is expected that we keep up that pace. Not only Alberta- everywhere
• Feminism has gone too far: Women are now not only expected to work, but to work full time. If you are a stay at home mom- you are often looked down upon or not valued as much. Also, if men choose to be the stay at home parent, they are even more ridiculed and devalued by our society- WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR WAY OF THINKING
• Our children need to be our priority

Divorce:

• We have a new acceptence and tolerence of divorce- NOT GOOD!
• There are good reasons to get divorce some of the time, but now more than ever people are divorcing "just because"
• We are not fighting for our relationships anymore, the committment is not their
• People view marriage as a short term thing or "I can get out of it whenever I want to" attitude
• The myth: "If the parents are happy the kids will be happy"- divorce has lasting effects on children regardless of the situation
• We need to teach our children how to maintain relationships by example

Dicipline:

• Children need boundaries, they need to learn consequences for their actions
• We need to build self esteem in our children, but we shouldn't be afraid to dicipline our children
• Trust your instinct
• Teach our children a respect for authority, give them respect too
• Take the harshness out, we don't want our children fearing us, but keep the consequences in

Education:

• Parents are treating children like products
• We put on too much pressure for high grades, scholarships, post education
• We are developing "Trophy Kids"
• Parents are always well intentioned; however, we have to look at the lasting effect it will have
• We need plumbers, mechanics, too!
• All talents should be valued just as much as the next

Media/ Modern Technology:

• Youth spend 38 hours per week using technology
• 25 hours is spent in front of the TV
• Being projected with unrealistic goals for body image and a new tolerence for violence (news, video games, ect)
• 64% of TV has some sort of sexual content- we wonder why our children our losing their virginities at 15
• Average age of loss of virginity is 16
• 34% of Grade 9's are having oral sex
• TALK to your kids
• Everything is more violent- video games increase stress levels, computers and TVs are forms of sedatives
• Support Play!

WORK LESS, PLAY MORE

KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER

EFFECTIVE DICIPLINE

INDEPENDENCE

RECOGNIZE TALENTS

I know that some people may have different views on specifics, but I believe the fundamentals are true. We need to start taking a more active role in children's lives (ours, our friends, our neighbours, everyone). My challenge for you all today is to smile and say hello to a youth you don't know. Even that can make a difference. Together we can change the world.

# posted by Susie @ 9:11 AM