The Clan Update

I sometimes have to pinch myself because I am so blessed that it is hard to believe that this life is mine. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we need or don't have to realise the most important and precious things are staring us right in the face. On the weekend, I was so hurt by how Dana had been treating me- all I wanted to do was run away just to show what life would be like without me. Thinking that would teach him a lesson. When he got home after playing with hockey with Kynan all afternoon, he looked at my puffy red eyes and asked if I was ok? Was I ok? Did he not know what he had done? Did he not even know I was hurt? This whole afternoon I have been sobbing and he had no idea. Well, you think I should no better because Dana has always been oblivious to my seemingly obvious hints. Anyway, we did sit down and talk and it's great because we have our own little mediator. Anytime one of us starts to raise our voices or say mean things, Kynan is right there to say "Daddy/ Mommy, no! Nice to daddy/ mommy." I always thought it was better to disagree in private and not let your children see, but now I am learning that is actually good for them to see how we deal with conflict. Learn that it is normal to disagree, or be hurt, ect and still love each other. Anyway, that was more of a sidenote, back to me pouring my sob story out to Dana. After revealing how I had been feeling for the last few weeks, Dana then said something so sweet. I was upset because it seems as though he had not been treating me like I am 9 months pregnant (which I will be tomorrow). I felt as though he was expecting me to do things that I really shouldn't be doing, and not really 'caring' for me as he did when I was expecting with Kynan. It seems as though I am getting that at work too. And even some people in the community were surprized when I said I was leaving on maternity leave next week. Some not even knowing I was pregnant! Hello! Do I not look pregnant?!?!?! I am a bigger girl, but common! Anyway, Dana said that the reason why he has been treating me like this and that probably why others haven't noticed is because I seem alot stronger and confident in this pregnancy then I was with Kynan. He said that I have been doing so much, that he didn't want to tell me to slow down because I have never looked happier. This caught me by surprize because I have been feeling exhausted, sore, and run down, but I really haven't been making a big issue of it because it's not like it's going away anytime soon. Then I thought I must be looking pretty damn good if people don't even know I am pregnant. It dawned on me, it's all in how you look at life. One of my favorate quotes us, 'You better keep yourself clean and bright for you are the window through which you see the world.' I love that I have husband that reminds me of the positivity in our lives. I haven't been happier, I get the best of both worlds. I love my job and I actually feel like I am making a difference in some small way, I love volunteering with the pageant because it gives me an opportunity to be an event planner and to dress up and be girly, and most of all I love being a wife and mom- which I will get to do full time in one week. I am so looking forward to pushing Kynan on swings, taking him on discovery walks, and teaching him how to make delicious dinners for Dana. Sure there are things I would love to have, to do, and to experience, but in the grand scheme of things- this is what true dreams are made of.